One little, Two little, Three little items...

So there we were, my darlin' and I, checking out at Walmart. As we approached the checkout lane with the bookcase we were purchasing we noticed the 20 items or less sign. Now, while the bookcase was heavy enough and big enough to qualify as more than 20 items it was still really only one item after all it was only one box wasn't it?

In front of us stood this woman with her cart overflowing with what was obviously more than 20 items. Since this was an obvious and flagrant violation of the "20 Items Rule" I decided to, in my most curmudgeonly way, point this out. One good breach of Walmart etiquette deserves another, so I decided to count out loud the number of items that she was removing from the cart. "One, Two, Three..." I counted. Meanwhile my darlin', feeling embarassed, tried to distract me with small talk. "Say did you hear that Jerry Springer will be moderating the next debate between McCain and Obama" she asked. "Eight, Nine, Ten..." "You know I was thinking that we should get a pet armadillo for the cats to play with" "Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-one..." "Hey, how about antelope steaks for dinner?" "Thirty-five, Thirty-six, Thirty-seven..."

Well, to make a long story short, I am sure I annoyed the woman who cared little for the "20 Items or Less" sign (or the line of people that she was backing up). She left without acknowledging my childish antics. My hope is that she will remember the incident the next time she braves a trip to Walmart, and while she probably will still ignore the "20 Items or Less" sign, perhaps she will look over her shoulder to see if I am lurking in the shadows.

John McCain Maverick??!!

Like virtually everyone else in the US, on Thursday evening I watched the VP debate between Palin and Biden. Truth be told I found Palin to be more annoying than presidential. The thought has struck me that she would make a great fourth grade teacher, but I seriously doubt she is able to hold her own among world leaders. Let’s face it Margaret Thatcher she isn’t.

I have also noticed that she and McCain like to throw the term “maverick” around a lot. Now I know that they want us to believe that they mean they don’t do things the “Washington way” but the truth is that they are both politicians and speak and act like politicians. As they say (although I’m not sure who “they” is but I know someone has said it) “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck; then it’s a duck”. Instead of handing us this “we’re not like other politicians” load of bull they should be honest. But maybe they are being honest…

The primary definition of the term “maverick” is “An unbranded range animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother, traditionally considered the property of the first person who brands it”. Now what are the odds that the McCain-Palin ticket is being extremely honest by labeling themselves with the term “maverick”? Could McCain-Palin be announcing to special interest groups that they are for sale? Brilliant!! Advertise yourself in such a way that in government doublespeak makes you look one way to the American people and yet really announces your true intentions to the Washington insiders. BRILLIANT!!

I mean come now, if you really want to vote for someone who runs against the grain of their party then its time to vote for that turncoat Joe Lieberman.